Dear Readers, few harbingers of horror have hung around as long as Count Dracula. There are many accounts of Dracula and vampires, but so far all I have read include Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897) and John Polidori’s The Vampyre (1821). Therefore, my knowledge of Dracula remains incomplete, and I’ve composed ten questions I’d ask him, should we ever meet. (I hope we don’t.)
1. We know you victimized Lucy Westenra in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Have you ever tried to victimize Lucy van Pelt from “Peanuts”?
2. Do you vote? Technically, in some ways you’re dead, but that doesn’t seem to matter.
3. Do plus-sized victims pose unique challenges?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. If you subsist on blood, then why are you always portrayed with a full set of teeth? What do you need to chew?
6. Some people believe that humans evolved from apes. Do you think you evolved from Nosferatu?
7. George Hamilton portrayed you in the 1979 film Love at First Bite. Now, if you’re mortally allergic to sunlight, why would Hollywood use the #1 Tan Man to play you?
8. Can you blend blood meal with water in a blender to make a shake?
water, and modern technology.
9. Why do your eyes sometimes glow red? It makes you look like a fruit fly and it’s kind of stupid.
10. Countless books and movies cashed in on your persona, and still do. Are you angry for never receiving royalties, although you’re a count?
Thank you everyone for taking a peek! Next installment: Dracula vs. A Twelve-Year Old Girl (No, there’s nothing inappropriate!)
Wander in a Box 
